The Hot Topic

It doesn’t take a genius to notice that Facebook is completely full of people whinging about politics at the moment. And I’d just like to point out – look on the bright side. Politicians are hot. It’s a hard thing to admit, but I really do mean it. I’d love to see the Houses of Parliament Fit Finder – “Male. Blonde hair. Jolly spiffing mop of golden locks, and bloody funny at that. I’d like to Boris your Johnson”. Yes, please. And I know I’m not the only one enjoying the Nick Clegg/David Cameron love in a slightly perverse way – you know you like it too. There is just something inherently sexy about these men in power. They may be balding, they may be a little portly, but I just can’t resist.

Others agree with me – in New York, Barack Obama was recently stopped by a woman who proclaimed, “You're a hottie with a smokin' little body.” She tells it how it is. The President, with good humour, replied that his wife would be watching, and his admirer responded “That's all right. Hi, Michelle - eat your heart out!” I wish I had her guts – I’d never leave Westminster alone. The great thing about this story is that it is helping remove the stigma of being attracting to politicians. I mean, looking back at politicians of the past, we haven’t exactly been blessed. For example, I’m not quite feeling that George Bush or John Major vibe – they’re not exactly the man candy that we’ve managed to get ourselves in 2010. I’m waiting for the shooting of “The Cabinet Cuties 2011” naked calendar to get started. Forget expenses scandals, they’d make enough money to pay off government debt in the opening week.

Of course, I’m not claiming that every current politician is the new George Clooney; in the case of Gordon Brown, I’m more than willing to step away. But surely we can take something from this Obama story, and bring something magical to the UK. A sexual revolution, with political pin-ups openly accepted for the hunks that they are. Think about it – instead of throwing eggs at David Cameron, why can’t we throw our knickers? Forget the R-Patz obsession; I want a massive poster of BoJo on my bedroom wall. And when you hear about a ‘hung’ parliament – well, I’m sure you get the idea. Still, if this is too much to ask of people, then I understand. Maybe the world just isn’t ready for this yet. But I do have just one, small request. Can you at least stop bloody whinging on Facebook?