My Last Ever Blog ...

..Okay. Not really. But it might as well be.

MY LIFE IS OVER.

Let me set the scene. I was at home, with my housemates, happily watching Celebrity Big Brother, hoping Dane would win (the public know NOTHING), not a care in the world. And then Davina announced that we could audition for the last ever Big Brother, and to check online now.

I ran to the computer, opened up Firefox as quickly as my trembling hands would allow, and hurriedly went to the channel4 website, beaming with excitement.

"Ah, Big Brother, I will be with you soon", I thought, as I opened the auditions page.

But then - oh it hurts to even talk about - I read the dates. I couldn't believe it. Most of the auditions had already happened. There were only the Glasgow ones left (for this weekend), and London for next weekend - and I already had tickets to go to Warwick.

My lifelong dreams had been shattered. I was destroyed. I have tried to see it as being fate, as a sign from God, it just wasn't meant to be. But I just can't let go. I was meant to be in that house.

Even worse than that, the Deal or No Deal website has been telling me 'server busy' for the last two days. I don't understand the world.

I JUST WANT TO BE ON TELEVISION.

There's only one thing for it. I must date a Rolling Stone. I'll let you know how it goes.