This is brilliant.
The link above leads to what I would describe as one of the greatest inventions of the modern world. It describes how a ticket dispensing machine in a Birmingham car park gives instructions in English until the car park becomes full - then it switches to German.
Genius.
Imagine the impact this could have on everyday life. Every time a kid spends too long glued to the box after school, the programmes would change to Italian documentaries. If someone tried to make more than 3 microwave meals a week instead of a decent home-cooked dinner, the microwave would start shouting at you in German. Students who wasted time on Facebook instead of doing work would be faced with something like:
нарусскомрезультатовзакрыть
That's Russian for.. I don't actually know. But, see, that's the point.
We would be forced to learn another language, which is clearly a valuable life skill, or else just stop spending so much time on pointless things.
Although, I suppose this blog could count as a pointless thing. Maybe at some point it'll start making me parlez le Francais.
Oh, merde!
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
The Morning After The Night Before
The alarm goes off. Snooze goes on. Alarm goes off. Snooze goes on.
Two hours later, a knock on the door, and a bleary eyed, pyjama clad student runs down the stairs, jamming contact lenses in with one hand and trying to drag a hairbrush through the birds' nest that magically formed overnight with the other, trying to understand why they've been forced to wake up before noon.
And yet what were they doing the night before? Not a heavy night of questionable drinking games and vomit filled toilet; no, something which will inevitably cause much more damage to their degree.
Television.
Oh, it's such a terrible thing. My household literally has a timetabled schedule of programmes to watch every day. I recognise the people that sign language shows about mountain climbing in the early hours of the morning. I watch the same episode of Friends at least four times a day - damn you, e4 plus one!
I can fool myself that I simply wish to make the most of my television license; that as a student, it is my right and duty to make every single penny worth it. It's not even simply background noise, something to keep us mildly entertained whilst we busy ourselves with much more important, useful activies.
It even takes a considerable amount of effort; we seem to be missing a remote, resulting in the actual need to get out of our chairs and manually change the channel! Can you believe it?
Soon the government won't have to worry about binge-drinking; it's binge-watching that they'll have to worry about.
I do however, have a solution, which will not only solve obesity and poor work ethics, but could even help the global warming cause and eventually result in world peace.
Simply - oh hang on, I'll tell you later, QI is on!
Two hours later, a knock on the door, and a bleary eyed, pyjama clad student runs down the stairs, jamming contact lenses in with one hand and trying to drag a hairbrush through the birds' nest that magically formed overnight with the other, trying to understand why they've been forced to wake up before noon.
And yet what were they doing the night before? Not a heavy night of questionable drinking games and vomit filled toilet; no, something which will inevitably cause much more damage to their degree.
Television.
Oh, it's such a terrible thing. My household literally has a timetabled schedule of programmes to watch every day. I recognise the people that sign language shows about mountain climbing in the early hours of the morning. I watch the same episode of Friends at least four times a day - damn you, e4 plus one!
I can fool myself that I simply wish to make the most of my television license; that as a student, it is my right and duty to make every single penny worth it. It's not even simply background noise, something to keep us mildly entertained whilst we busy ourselves with much more important, useful activies.
It even takes a considerable amount of effort; we seem to be missing a remote, resulting in the actual need to get out of our chairs and manually change the channel! Can you believe it?
Soon the government won't have to worry about binge-drinking; it's binge-watching that they'll have to worry about.
I do however, have a solution, which will not only solve obesity and poor work ethics, but could even help the global warming cause and eventually result in world peace.
Simply - oh hang on, I'll tell you later, QI is on!
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