The Morning After The Night Before

The alarm goes off. Snooze goes on. Alarm goes off. Snooze goes on.
Two hours later, a knock on the door, and a bleary eyed, pyjama clad student runs down the stairs, jamming contact lenses in with one hand and trying to drag a hairbrush through the birds' nest that magically formed overnight with the other, trying to understand why they've been forced to wake up before noon.
And yet what were they doing the night before? Not a heavy night of questionable drinking games and vomit filled toilet; no, something which will inevitably cause much more damage to their degree.

Television.

Oh, it's such a terrible thing. My household literally has a timetabled schedule of programmes to watch every day. I recognise the people that sign language shows about mountain climbing in the early hours of the morning. I watch the same episode of Friends at least four times a day - damn you, e4 plus one!

I can fool myself that I simply wish to make the most of my television license; that as a student, it is my right and duty to make every single penny worth it. It's not even simply background noise, something to keep us mildly entertained whilst we busy ourselves with much more important, useful activies.

It even takes a considerable amount of effort; we seem to be missing a remote, resulting in the actual need to get out of our chairs and manually change the channel! Can you believe it?
Soon the government won't have to worry about binge-drinking; it's binge-watching that they'll have to worry about.

I do however, have a solution, which will not only solve obesity and poor work ethics, but could even help the global warming cause and eventually result in world peace.
Simply - oh hang on, I'll tell you later, QI is on!